


Do you remember me taking pictures of you?

by nalialu



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, F/F, Love Confessions, Romance, jenlisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23952490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nalialu/pseuds/nalialu
Summary: An AU where Lisa was in love with Jennie since they were teenagers. One day she confessed her feelings but nothing happened.Years later, Jennie found that instagram Lisa used to show her pictures but what caught Jennie's attention was that in every picture, she was the model.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	Do you remember me taking pictures of you?

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! this is my first fic so please be kind.  
> english is my third language so it's not that good, still i wanted to take a chance and try it.  
> any mistakes just let me know. 
> 
> that's it, enjoy it!

_ You were running away  
And I asked you for a place to stay  
Do you remember me taking pictures of you?  
_

_The Kooks_

Not everyone has the ability to listen to others. Sometimes we think we are listening but we really don't.

This is something that Lisa could confirm since she spent her entire adolescence and now part of her adulthood listening to Jennie. It wasn't complicated for her. It was more like a way to distract herself from what was going on in her head. She had that ability; she could listen to Jennie for hours without any complaints.

That's one of the reasons why Jennie loved her.

Their friendship grew over the years. They met in the first year of high school, when Lisa couldn't find her classroom and the only person who tried to understand her poor Korean was Jennie. Maybe it was fate, but the classroom Lisa was looking for was Jennie's. Since then, Jennie committed to helping her with her Korean every afternoon, which became the best hours of every day. Within a couple of months, they were sharing every moment together. They ate lunch together, spent breaks together and even walked home together.

Lisa had come to Korea when she was only thirteen years old. Her parents, for business reasons, moved to Korea without giving Lisa any other option. Not that Lisa didn't like the idea, but it was hard for her to leave her friends behind. So, Jennie became her savior. When she felt most lost, a gummy smile appeared in front of her, changing her life forever.

That's one of the reasons why Lisa loved her.

In the blink of an eye, they were sixteen years old. The afternoons were only Jennie and Lisa's, most of the time at Lisa's house. Jennie was used to the loneliness of living in a big house, her father away from home and her mother colder than an ice cube. Lisa's family gave her that warmth she needed. Jennie always said that Lisa's house was _their_ special place.

Six years later, they both turned twenty-two. Although their careers were different, the habit of spending every afternoon together still stood. Lisa followed her dream of becoming a professional dancer by studying a dance major, while Jennie decided to go for fashion design.

Just like that, we got there. An unusual night for Jennie, who had been staring at the ceiling of her room for two hours, hoping to find some ideas for her final project. The clock struck midnight, and the pressure was beginning to consume Jennie. The project was no big deal; it was about finding a particular style and developing it. Before, she had done several projects in the street style, classic styles and some other traditional ones but none of that seemed enough for a big project like this. The more she thought the faster time passed until her eyelids got heavier and her eyes were slowly closing…

Jennie had an idea.

Maybe she dreamt it in those five seconds or maybe she always had it in one corner of her mind. The memory of her first trip with Lisa to Thailand. It was about four years ago, and she could swear it was one of the best summers of their lives. Jennie remembered Malai, a pretty girl they met that summer. What caught Jennie's attention was the way she dressed, totally different from what people are used to in Thailand or anywhere else. She had a unique fashion sense... that's exactly what Jennie was looking for all night.

It was impossible to contact her to talk about it, because that was years ago and they didn't even save their numbers but there was a way to refresh the memory. Lisa always carried her camera everywhere, so that summer she took several pictures of Malai and some others of Malai and Jennie. There was still a chance. She took her phone and called Lisa without hesitation. The impulse and the emotion was so much that she forgot what time it was and that probably Lisa was in her seventh dream.

Jennie sighed; she wasn't that cruel to wake up Lisa knowing how hard she had been training the last few days. Again, Jennie was falling into resignation. Sure, Lisa could give her those pictures later, if she still had them, but she couldn't sleep with a guilty conscience.

And then, she had another idea.

A few years ago when Lisa turned eighteen and started her passion for photography, she told her that she had created an official instagram account to show her pictures to the world. Jennie at that time had not paid much attention to that because she was following her personal account and Lisa never told her what her new one was so time went by and she never knew. Most likely, Lisa uploaded those pictures there and if so, Jennie was going to find them. She had faith that she would find Lisa's account. She knew her too well, plus Jennie was very intuitive. 

Probably, her user was a nickname, that's something Lisa would do. All her friends in Thailand called her Pockpack, her family sometimes called her Lalice but neither of them sounded well. Not for a photography account. What could it be? An old nickname? Any that Jennie didn't know about?

One word came to her mind.

 _Lili_.

Only one person in the world called her that and it was her, so the chances were slim but if Jennie followed her instincts... maybe she could get it right. After five minutes of scrolling through the screen, Jennie thought she'd never find it. It was impossible for her not to recognize Lisa's account, not when her pictures had a very Lisa aesthetic, or so she always said. Did Lisa still use it anyway? She didn't even know.

Jennie sighed once again; maybe the best option was to wait until tomorrow, she thought before clicking on the last option: _lilipics_. 

She dropped her jaw and blinked a couple of times. She found it. That was Lisa's account, and apparently she had thousands of followers but Jennie couldn't think of that, her eyes were on the pictures... what was she doing there? It wasn't unusual for Lisa to take pictures of Jennie. It was quite common. Mostly they were pictures that Jennie asked for and then uploaded to her social media but what Jennie was seeing weren't those pictures. They were pictures of Jennie while she was distracted doing whatever she did on a daily basis.

Jennie kept looking at the pictures; most of them had over a thousand likes. Her mouth was still half-open, she was a model all this time and didn't even know it? She had chills all over her body as she remembered how Lisa had confessed her feelings to her some time ago. Was that the way Lisa looked at Jennie? Even if it wasn't directly Lisa's eyes, she knew that in all those moments, Lisa was looking at _her_.

For a moment, she closed her eyes remembering that day when Lisa approached her with a nervous look. At that time, Jennie was in the middle of her first "relationship." Finally, her entire teenage crush (her name was Jisoo and she was the prettiest girl in the whole school, or so Jennie thought.) had reciprocated her feelings. She was happy, walking with her hand holding Jisoo's in the halls. The sun was setting; Jennie looked at Lisa from afar. She always waited for her at the school entrance so they could walk home together. It was one of the moments they looking forward to during the day.

That day was different.

She could feel a heavy atmosphere, as if something was happening between the two of them but they didn't know it yet. Lisa stopped walking for a moment, looking at Jennie.

“I need to tell you something,” she mumbled. Jennie knew something was going on with Lisa but couldn't figure out what it was so she just nodded. “But you have to promise me you won't get angry.” Jennie frowned at those words, there was no way she would be angry with Lisa, plus how bad could it be?

"I promise." she said after raising her little finger to intertwine it with Lisa's and make their pinky promise.

"I know you're in love with Jisoo and I'm happy about that. Whatever makes you happy, will make me happy too," She looked different, it seemed like the words couldn't get out of her throat and that was unusual in Lisa. "I… I can't help but feel jealous, Jennie." For a moment, Jennie felt her stomach turn. Lisa looked so vulnerable, with her red cheeks and watery eyes. She didn't understand if maybe she had abandoned her best friend and she was feeling lonely or... no, there was no way it was anything else. "What I mean is… I'm in love with you."

Or maybe it was.

Jennie wasn't quite finished processing what she'd just heard. She expected anything in the world but that. Not that. She didn't even know what to say. She was in love with Jisoo, that's for sure. Lisa was her best friend and of course, she had a little crush on her when they first met, but she wasn't in love with her.

Jennie wanted to hug Lisa, she wanted to wipe away those tears or just explain her feelings. But she didn't. She just laughed in her face because a small part of Jennie thought that would be the best thing to do, thinking it was all a joke would make it better.

Lisa's face of disappointment made her realize that it was not like that. It wasn't the best thing, in fact, it was the worst thing to do.

And that's how Jennie broke Lisa's heart.

Since she met Lisa, she always imagined that she would be there for her in all the important moments, even when Lisa got her heart broken for the first time… she never thought she'd be the one to break it.

As much as it hurt, Jennie never left Lisa's side.

The friendship never ended, it got stronger.

A few minutes later, Jennie opened her eyes again. A tear was streaming down her cheek. It still hurt, even six years later. For a moment, all those memories felt unreal. She kept looking at the pictures; some of them were from long ago, and some were recent. She loved those pictures, every single one of them, but she couldn't help but feel a little dizzy.

"Oh." Jennie mumbled. There they were. She finally found the pictures she had been looking for from the beginning.

_One of the best days of my life._

She read the caption.

Why did it hurt so much?

A week passed, and Jennie still had a feeling in her chest. It was like a void in her chest that wanted to tell her something. She chose not to mention anything to Lisa. There was no reason to reopen wounds when she didn't even know what to say. All she knew was that something inside her _changed_ that day.

For some reason, holding Lisa's hands felt more important, watching her at her rehearsals was more entertaining, and walking home together was still her favorite thing in the world.

The final project was a total success, her teachers loved it and that was enough to give Jennie some peace. After taking a long bath, which she totally deserved, she lay down on her bed and took her phone by instinct. A month ago, Jennie had found Lisa's instagram and didn’t looked for it again. Somehow, it felt wrong to do so, as if she didn't have the right, maybe Lisa didn't even want her to see it. Her heart started beating a little faster, would it be so bad if she looked for it again? Maybe Lisa posted something new, and if so, Jennie really wanted to see it.

She clicked it and smiled. It was pretty obvious from her face that yes, Lisa had posted something new and yes, she was there. The first picture was of Jennie on the balcony of her house, the breeze was blowing as she looked vaguely at the city in front of her. The other picture was a garden surrounded by different flowers that Lisa probably found somewhere.

Lisa was really good at taking pictures, both pictures had a good angle and fit perfectly with her feed. She could recognize the first picture, it was taken a week ago when Lisa decided to come to her house for dinner. Jennie felt butterflies in her stomach. Why did she feel that way? Why did she blush? God, Lisa wasn't even there.

That whole month had been a mess in Jennie's head. Every moment she shared with Lisa became more meaningful, every smile more sincere and every goodbye more salty. It was like all these years, Jennie was seeing black and white.

Maybe, just maybe she... Jennie couldn't even finish the sentence in her head and she didn't want to say it out loud either. Somehow, she felt that if she said it, she knew it would make it real. Maybe it was real.

She couldn't fool herself any longer, it was absurd. Part of her knew that she was falling more and more for Lisa. Maybe it was those stupid pictures, or maybe those feelings were there this whole time. Jennie didn't know and didn't really want to know because it would hurt. She had rejected Lisa and never forgave herself for that...and then, something change and it was her who spent every night dreaming about Lisa and waking up with hopes of seeing her again.

This couldn't have happened to her. Not to Jennie Kim. Not to Lisa's best friend.

She didn't used to tell her mom this kind of stuff... but she was the only one who could understand her, or at least try. She went downstairs and looked at her mother, sitting in the living room reading a book. Whether this is a good idea or not, it was her only option. It wasn't like she could tell Lisa, anyway.

"Mom?" Jennie uttered, interrupting the silence of the room.

"Oh, Jen. What are you doing here?" Her mother kept reading her book, without even looking at her daughter.

"I want to talk to you." She responded, finally getting her mother's attention.

"Did something happen?"

"Yeah, well, no... It did, but it's nothing serious." Jennie swallowed as her gaze fell to the floor, walked over to the couch and sat down in front of her mother. It felt... weird. "How did you know you were in love with Dad?" Mrs. Kim laughed out loud as she closed the book that was now in her lap.

"The fact that you came to me and asked me something like that should answer your question, honey." She said, with a wise smile on her face. She was right; if Jennie didn't feel “this thing” for Lisa, she wouldn't have had the courage to ask her mom about that.

“So... how did you know that…” Jennie stopped for a moment. “…that Dad was in love with you?”

“Don’t be nervous. If you want I can give you some little tips I've learned about love." Jennie nodded, her hands were sweating and her heart wanted to go out through her throat. It still felt... weird. "There are only two ways to involuntarily show how you feel about another person. The first is jealousy, if they get jealous, believe me, they like you." Jennie couldn't help but remember when six years ago, Lisa told her she felt jealous. _Fuck_. “And the other way is very simple; they'll always want to spend time with you. No matter where. No matter how. They will always find the time to see you." She didn't use to share much of her time with Jennie, so these words meant a lot to her. Every word that came out of Mrs. Kim's mouth, Jennie recorded it in her head. They both hugged, after a kiss on the cheek and a "good night."

It didn't feel so weird to talk about _love_ anymore.

The night seemed endless, Lisa simply refused to get out of her head. She couldn't understand how she had never felt this way about Lisa before. She was probably the most beautiful person Jennie had ever met, and not because of how she looked but because of her whole being. Lisa had always been there for Jennie from day one and never ever let her down. There wasn't much to say, Jennie had always been everything to Lisa.

"I think I like her." Jennie muttered to herself that night. It was real.

Two days passed since Jennie was able to confess to herself how she felt. Still, she didn't feel satisfied. Was there a chance Lisa could feel the same way she did before? It was selfish and she probably hated herself for it, but seeing Lisa without being able to tell her how she felt was like hell. She couldn't just confess to her. Technically, she could, but she wanted to do it in the best possible way.

Jennie had an idea.

The weekend had arrived, and there was Jennie, finishing the preparations for the party she organized as part of her plan. Her parents were away on a business trip, so it was perfect timing.

This was probably the worst idea in the world but she couldn't step back now. She needed to know if Lisa still had feelings for her. Besides what's wrong if she wanted to see Lisa jealous for once in her life? Six years ago, she never noticed. That day she would.

In less than two hours, the room was full of people. Half of them were Jennie's friends and the other half she didn't even know them, but her eyes were focused on the girl who was walking through the door... Lisa. Jennie couldn't stop thinking that it was probably evident how her eyes were on Lisa but she couldn't do anything about it. It was impossible not to notice how stunning Lisa looked. She was wearing baggy pants with a top that detailed every part of her perfect body. For a moment, her gaze stopped on Lisa's dark red lips. How would it feel to kiss them? Immediately Jennie shook her head, it wasn't the perfect time to think about it. She had something important to do.

After a couple of drinks, Jennie chose her "candidate" to dance that night. She was a girl from the university, apparently, studying something related to business. Jennie didn't care at all, she just wanted to dance with her as her eyes looked for someone else... and so it was, Jennie felt her body getting closer to the girl as the music played around her. She wasn't going to lie, dancing with Yeri was fun but not when Lisa was there.

Lisa was busy dancing in the middle of the room. She had always been praised for being one of the best dancers in the university and there was no party where she didn't show it. She didn't do it for others, she just did it because she enjoyed it and that was enough. Her dancing skills plus her beauty always drew everyone's attention, and this time wasn't the exception. There wasn't a single person in that house who didn't want to dance with Lisa... not even Jennie.

After another couple of drinks, Jennie's blood was boiling. Why did those guys see Lisa that way? Like she was a fucking piece of meat. It was really pissing her off. Lisa was more than her body, more than her charm or her dancing; Lisa was everything that anyone wanted in their life. These thoughts would disturb sober Jennie, but she was drunk and didn't give a shit. Not when those stupid guys were there. She was not often impulsive as she always worried about her reputation but this time it was different. This time it was about Lisa.

She took two drinks in her hands, crossed to the other side of the room, and once in front of those guys she poured the drink over them. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing. No one was dancing and Jennie could only hear those guys calling her "stupid bitch". Okay, she probably deserved it, but she forgot one thing... Lisa. She was looking at her in shock, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. In less than a minute, she grabbed Jennie by the wrist and took her into the bathroom.

"What the hell was that?" she asked in a bitter tone, with her hands still in Jennie's wrists.

"They were looking at you." That answer didn't even make sense, at least not for Lisa.

"And that's why you poured the drinks on them? You know they go to our university, right?” Yes, Jennie knew, but she didn't care. Was it too hard to understand?

"Then think twice before acting like _that_ in front of everyone." Jennie grumbled, not even knowing what she was saying. If this party had happened a few months ago, Jennie wouldn't have acted like that. She'd have subtly pulled the guys out of her house with a smile on her face, and that would have been the end of it. Why was it different now?

"What are you talking about? I always dance at parties and let me remind you, you always danced with me." Lisa finally let go of Jennie, turning her back on her. "Do whatever you want, just... be careful, okay?" Lisa walked out the bathroom door.

“I’m sorry.” Jennie whispered to herself sure that Lisa hadn't heard her. For a moment, all the alcohol in her body seemed to be gone. She felt stupid. The idea was to make Lisa jealous, not her.

 _You're incredible, Jennie_ she told herself as she walked back into the living room. Half the people were either half-asleep or making out. She didn't care about any of that, or anyone there. Just Lisa. She didn't know if Lisa had left or was dancing with someone else. Who cares? She sighed as she made her way up the stairs, straight to her room. She had to sleep; she had to finish tonight as fast as she could.

However, the night was not yet over.

Someone's footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and Jennie opened her eyes immediately. She had always made it clear that no one is allowed to go up to the second floor. Who dared?

Her door opened, and the first thing that popped out was Lisa.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd left." Jennie was surprised but more than that, she was glad. She didn't expect to see her anymore, at least for that day.

"No, I went to get everyone out of the house." Her eyes seemed to resent it and Jennie felt a pain in her chest. "Can I stay here tonight?" Jennie nodded. Lisa took off her shoes and lay in bed with Jennie. It felt good.

"Sorry." Jennie muttered making sure that this time she heard it.

"It’s okay. It’s not like we really care about guys, anyway." A chuckle came out of Lisa's mouth.

"Not for them, Lili, I apologize to you." She said, staring into Lisa's honey eyes. They were beautiful. "I shouldn't have told you that, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm stupid and..." Lisa smile as she held Jennie's hand, intertwining their fingers. Jennie couldn't say nothing more, it was unnecessary because Lisa had already forgiven her. She didn't say it in words but Jennie could feel it. _I don't deserve her_ , she thought as she squeezed Lisa's hand.

Ten minutes later or maybe less, Lisa was resting her head on Jennie's shoulder. They were quiet, enjoying each other's company.

"Why haven't you ever had a girlfriend?" The question just popped out of Jennie's lips without thinking. It felt better to ask than to make a whole stupid plan. "I mean, a lot of people are interested in you." Lisa kept her eyes closed for a few seconds, seemed to be debating internally.

"I can't." Jennie frowned; she didn't really expect that answer. “For a long time, I've put myself last in everything. So I swore to myself that I would do my best to put myself first again.” Lisa looked up at Jennie, while Jennie was looking at their interwined hands. “I can't be with someone if I haven't moved on from the past, you know?” She finished saying and leaned back on Jennie's shoulder.

It made sense to Jennie. Lisa had always been the kind of person who would rather give than receive. Always looking out for others, putting herself aside. Jennie was used to Lisa's kindness and never realized that perhaps it could be harmful to her at some point. Although she didn't want to think about it, it hurt Jennie to imagine that over the years Lisa had worked on forgetting the feelings she had for her and just moving on.

Surely, she did.

**_That night, Jennie fell asleep before Lisa. Lisa covered her with the sheet and planted a little kiss on her forehead. Maybe that was the reason she dreamt about Jennie that night or maybe it was because Lisa was always thinking about her._ **

Jennie's parents used to have guests in the house very often, sometimes for dinner and other times to discuss business. Whatever the reason, Jennie hated it there. It was overwhelming to be faking a smile for a bunch of men in their fifties. That day, she felt like that. She couldn't breathe properly and all she could think about was the conversation she had with Lisa a few nights ago. 

_I can't be with someone if I haven't moved on from the past, you know?_

Jennie sighed, got up after an "Excuse me", walked up the stairs and went to the balcony of her room. She knew her parents would scold her later for leaving like that, but she didn't want to be there. She wanted to be with Lisa. 

Her bedroom balcony reminded her of the picture Lisa had taken some time ago. Without thinking much about it, she took her phone and searched: _lilipics_. It had been a few days since she had checked it and there was nothing new. Screw it. Jennie clicked on that little bell next to that username, making sure she'd be notified if Lisa updated something.

She wouldn't admit it, but she wanted to find a picture of herself there. What if instead of wanting it, she made it happen? She was the best friend after all. 

**Message from: Jennie. Do you want to go for a walk?**

**Message from: Lisa. I'll be there in five.**

Jennie knew that the main reason she wanted to see Lisa was not the pictures or just for distraction, it was because Lisa was the only one who could make her feel better. 

Walking with Lisa was always the best. They were both used to having philosophical conversations that ended up in the dumbest things one could imagine. Being with Lisa felt like that. It was like a roller coaster of feelings that Jennie never wanted to get off.

"Lili, look, there’s a cat.” Jennie pointed to the little cat that was near the playground, she knew how much Lisa loved those animals.

Jennie was melted with the sight in front of her. Lisa taking pictures of a little kitten, with a smile on her face was probably the sweetest thing she had seen in a long time. Everything about Lisa had become like that, sweet.

The walk ended with the two of them sitting in the playground talking about cats. She couldn't ask for more, it was perfect. The night was perfect. Lisa was _perfect_. As perfect as it all seemed, it was time to go.

"He looked like you." Lisa said on the way home.

"Huh? Who?" The older one responded with a frown.

"The kitty." She replied. "He was adorable and had scared eyes. Just like you. Are you hiding something?" Jennie didn't expect that. 

"So... do you think I'm adorable?" She had always been good at avoiding serious questions.

"You always have been, at least to me." That hurt for Jennie and maybe for Lisa too. "I know you too well and I know something's up. When you're ready, come find me." 

Those were the last words of the night. They both stopped in front of Jennie's house. Lisa hugged her tightly and smiled gently. Jennie didn't know what to do, she just got intoxicated by the perfume Lisa was wearing and got lost in how good she smelled. Why did everything in Lisa had to be so good?

After a few minutes, Jennie went into her house, walking straight to her room until her phone rang.

**Notification from _lilipics_.**

Jennie opened it immediately, finding a picture of that little cat they saw a few hours ago. She couldn't help but smile, Lisa was the purest soul she had ever known. Sometimes she wondered what she did so well in another life to have met Lisa in this one. She was her best friend, her soulmate, and perhaps, her love.

The memories came back in her head. Part of Jennie knew she didn't deserve Lisa. Besides, she didn't even know if she was gonna get to tell Lisa how she felt. It wasn't fair. Not when Lisa had been trying to move on, or at least that's what she understood that night after the party. Maybe Jennie should keep it to herself forever.

_What I mean is… I'm in love with you._

Damn, that hurt. Lisa was brave once and confessed to Jennie. It was Jennie's turn. It didn't matter if her heart would break, at the end she would always have Lisa by her side, as her best friend.

For a moment, the thought of everything that happened with Jisoo years ago went through her head. Lisa was always there for her. Jisoo was actually Jennie's first love. She remembered how things ended with Jisoo. Two days after her 17th birthday, Jisoo had to leave Seoul with her family. At that moment, her heart was broken, the "love of her life" was gone and she felt empty. The only person who was with her was Lisa, the only person who heard her cry or wiped her tears. Her parents didn't even realize what had happened, but she didn't care because she had someone with her, her best friend. A year later, Jennie realized that her relationship with Jisoo had not been that important, of course, she loved her a lot but it was just a teenage love.

All she could think about was Lisa. She broke Lisa's heart and didn't even try to fix it. Lisa had to fix it by herself, with no help and no one to wipe her tears.

It didn't matter if Lisa rejected her, Jennie deserved it.

Jennie had never believed in karma, but if it existed, that was hers.

**_That night, Lisa walked a few more minutes alone with her thoughts. Most of them were about one person. The only person Lisa wanted to see, no matter where or how. Jennie._ **

Two weeks went by, two hard weeks where Jennie tried to tell Lisa how she felt but it never seemed like the right time. Besides, lately Lisa wasn't walking home with her as usual. Apparently, she was studying after school with a classmate, or so she said. Jennie decided to take that as an opportunity to think about how to confess while walking home. 

**Notification from _lilipics_.**

The sound of her phone took her out of her thoughts as she took her phone with excitement. She was hoping to see a picture of Lisa's cats, of her, or just of anything that Lisa found out there. It was neither of those.

Who was she?

Jennie felt her chest burn. She didn't want to be dramatic but a part of her wanted to fall apart. The only person who was ever in Lisa's pictures was her. That made her feel special. But that time, there was someone else.

She couldn't blame Lisa, maybe Jennie was too late.

In a whole week, Lisa didn't walk home a single day with her. The lunches were lonelier and the nights colder. Jennie tried not to think about it, but it was really hard. A few days ago, Lisa posted a picture of some hands. They weren't Lisa's, Jennie would recognize them as her own. They were thin and delicate, like the blonde girl Lisa had been seeing. If she remembered correctly, her name was Park Chaeyoung and she came from Australia.

Each day passed, and more pictures Lisa posted, more pictures where Jennie was no longer the model. It didn't take a genius to figure out Lisa was into something with Chaeyoung. It wasn't a bad thing, it was a good one. Jennie was supposed to be happy for her, they were best friends after all but pretending had always been hard for Jennie.

A month went by, one of the strangest months Jennie had ever had. She was finally one hundred percent sure of her feelings for Lisa, in fact, it was quite obvious, but not for Lisa. Lisa stopped noticing everything that involved Jennie.

Too late.

It was eleven o'clock at night and Jennie couldn't ignore the hole in her chest, similar to what she felt that day when she found _lilipics_ , that day when everything changed. She didn't care, she was willing to give up her happiness if it meant Lisa would be happy. Then why didn't it feel good? Maybe, just maybe, Lisa was waiting for her all this time. How could Lisa wait so long for her? How could Lisa forget her so easily? If only she had a sign, a small, insignificant sign that would make her see that Lisa was still looking at her just like she did in all those pictures.

Jennie didn't believe in fate, anyway.

**Notification from _lilipics_.**

This time, Jennie wasn't expecting anything, yet she was still curious about what Lisa posted. The picture was of Jennie. A couple of days ago, they had spent the afternoon together at the lake near the university. The picture was from that day. Jennie was standing out in the distance looking at the lake. A feeling ran through Jennie's whole body.

She wanted a sign and Lisa posted a picture of _her_.

She was in love with Lisa.

Before she knew it, she grabbed her sweater, put on some sneakers and walked out the door. Lisa lived quite close by so she wouldn't last long. The adrenaline was pumping through her body. What was she going to do once she got to Lisa's house? She had no idea, but she needed to see Lisa.

She stayed in front of Lisa's house for a couple of minutes; the light in her room seemed to be on.

That was the right time.

Jennie took a big breath before she knocked on the door. She didn't even know what she was doing there, she was pale, sweating and more nervous than ever. This was new, she was never really nervous about Lisa. She was her best friend, the only one who had all her confidence and at that moment, she didn't even know how to look her in the eye.

 _This could end very bad... or very well,_ she said to herself as she heard the footsteps coming.

The door opened. Lisa's furrowed eyebrows welcomed her.

"Jen? What are you doing here so late?" How was she supposed to tell her if she didn't even know?

"I-I have to tell you something." It was the first thing that came to her mind. She didn't really know what she was supposed to say but she was there for a reason.

"You could have texted me, you know?" Lisa smiled with a hint of concern. "Do you want to come in?" Jennie knew that if she walked through the door of that house, all the courage she's gathered over the past few days will be gone.

"No." She swallowed, feeling that void in her chest growing stronger. She had to say it now. "Lisa, I..." The words she planned so much, didn't want to come out. Lisa smiled suddenly and that was comforting. God, Lisa always knew how to make her feel good.

Jennie closed her eyes for a moment or two.

She had to be brave.

Bravery comes in many forms. In Jennie's case, it pushed her to Lisa's lips.

Jennie kissed her.

It was a mint kiss, maybe because she had brushed her teeth a few minutes ago or because Lisa had been eating mint ice cream. The reason didn't matter. It didn't matter if she was with Lisa.

And then, Lisa kissed her back.

The last few months she dreamed of kissing Lisa, confessing to her or simply holding her hand in another way than they had always done. It was a dream that seemed impossible to make come true. But there she was, with her lips pressed against Lisa's. She didn't really care what happened after this, she had Lisa. She had her on her lips, in her mind and in her life. Lisa was worth it. Maybe she wasn't worth it, but she was going to try. She was going to try everything to see Lisa happy.

Suddenly, Lisa stepped back.

"What does this mean?" Lisa seemed quite serene and calm, while her soft lips let out the question. This seemed unreal. There was no way Jennie actually kissed Lisa. But she did, it was time to do what she should have done months ago.

"What it means is... I'm in love with you." She finally said it. Her cheeks were red and her hands were shaking. After tasting Lisa's lips, nothing felt impossible.

“What are you talking about?" Lisa looked in shock, as if Jennie had told her the craziest thing in the world. Maybe it was.

"I'm in love with you." She stated. " I realized that a few months ago, the story is a bit confusing and long," Jennie knew this was not the time to tell her how she found the pictures that Lisa had been taking of her for years and that was exactly what made her realize her feelings. It didn't matter in that moment. "But what I'm saying is true and it's _real_."

"Jennie I..." Lisa was perplexed in the middle of the night, looking at her best friend who was also her first love. "I don't know what to say." Jennie smiled gently at the response, yet she had to be brave.

Six years ago, Lisa confessed and Jennie laughed at her. She was going to fix it. It took her a long time to realize it but she was there, confessing her love.

She was hopelessly in love with Lisa.

"Lisa, are you still in love with me?” The question was too straightforward for Jennie's taste, but it was important to know. The words hurt as they came down her throat. She had never been so brave in her life. Perhaps she had never been because she had not found the right person to be. That day, she was in front of her.

It was a little crazy to think how much Lisa had waited for that moment. Years ago, just looking at Jennie hurt. It hurt because she was in love with someone who would never see her the way she did. That's the reason why Lisa decided to take pictures of Jennie. It wasn't a strange way to stalk her but a memory for Lisa so she would never forget how Jennie looked in her eyes. Unconsciously, Lisa was always waiting for Jennie to realize her feelings. That's why she had to put herself first, because the years were passing and she was still waiting for something that would never come. Lisa knew that she would forget her someday and when that day came, she wouldn't take any more pictures of Jennie.

So it was.

That same night, Lisa had decided that picture at the lake would be the last picture she would take of Jennie. She would never leave Jennie's side as her best friend, but it was time to forget all those feelings and unrequited love. It was time to move on. 

"I'm sorry, Jennie." The answer was empty and unexpected.

Finally, Lisa had made it.

She put herself first, even if she had to lie on the way.

**Author's Note:**

> that's all, thank you very much for reading.  
> i hope you don't hate me too much for the ending.  
> bye bye <3


End file.
